Category Archives: depression

Does It Get Better?

“Recovery” is a word most often used in the realm of drugs and addiction, a descriptor of those who are abstaining from the use of addictive substances. This same ideology simply doesn’t apply to bipolar disorder, however. People with bipolar disorder never recover in the same sense as an addict might. We don’t recover, we manage.

Now, I know the old familiar adage of “once an addict, always an addict”, but we have to look at both ideas in context here. If one is an addict and is always an addict, then one must always be in recovery, according to that ideology. It’s not necessarily the same concept when it comes to having a mental illness, in particular bipolar disorder. One does not make the choice to develop a chemical imbalance as one makes the choice of using drugs and/or alcohol. It’s all relative, of course, but not really.

So, after all the semantics, does bipolar disorder get better for those afflicted by the illness?

Yes and no.

Scary, huh? Only make of it what you will, though. This is where finding the right treatment plan comes into play.

Yes, yes, like I said, it’s all relative. We, alongside those in recovery battling addiction, must get to our own breaking point. The definition of “rock bottom” is different for everybody, and everybody has to have their moment. When I say “breaking point” I’m referring to the moment that brings one the clarity needed to see that something is and has been wrong. Unfortunately, that moment of clarity is usually brought on by some potentially disastrous behaviors.

Although people suffering from bipolar disorder share similar stepping stones as someone dealing with addiction on their journey forward, “recovery” is still not an applicable term for those with this illness. Granted, there are just as many variables that come into play regarding both addiction and mental illness when seeking help.

On the Outside…

Can someone with bipolar disorder have a normal relationship? Although it’s a question that is as ignorant as it sounds, I can, to some extent, see how it could raise some red flags for someone on the other side. But if your loved one has bipolar disorder, it is possible to have a “normal” relationship.

Okay. I can admit that I’m probably not always the easiest person to live with. I can concede that. But I was never so aware of how many “bipolar bullet points” I was checking off the list until my wife and I had a truly candid conversation about my condition.

She knows how I hate the stereotypical things one hears about bipolar disorder, such as phrases like “walking on eggshells”, etc. But once the conversation began, it was clear there was no way back from where we were going. I was the cancer, I was the cure.

I must be thankful the conversation came about the way it did, however, because A) it was organic, and B) I wasn’t experiencing any signs of mania or depression. Just curiosity. And from what I had heard it had killed the cat.

But ignorance is not always bliss and I decided that this was one of those situations in which that was true.

It’s strange how, like bipolar disorder itself and those who suffer from it, the “symptoms” a spouse or partner of someone with it may exhibit are similar.

Similar in the fact that they can’t be cured, only managed. And even that is a stretch at times.

When my wife began to tell me about some of my “extreme” moments and how she would handle them, I felt microscopic in size. Not in the “oh, woe is me” sense, but in the “how could I allow myself to make her feel that way” sense. When I asked how she was able to handle all of my behavior without leaving or going crazy, she told me she could tell the difference between me and the disease. She had taken the time to educate herself on what bipolar disorder is and had listened at all my appointments.

She also said it was important to communicate, when it was the right time to communicate. Again, I normally would’ve taken this negatively, like I was too fragile to handle a conversation. But because we were able to have the conversation, we continued.

She reminded me that no matter what the situation, we had always worked through it. Even if it’s one where I may not be totally aware that is going on; even being manic and/or depressed at times, I still contributed and offered value. She told me she watched for my “triggers” and kept an eye on certain behaviors.

What I wondered was how I could be so blind or, even worse, careless as to what my wife experienced or how she felt during one of my episodes. How is she still here? WHY is she still here?

She told me. And then she explained it to me. And then explained to me how I wouldn’t understand so not to worry about it. She said it’s just like any other relationship when it comes to honesty and transparency, communication and trust. They’re all “must-haves” no matter the circumstances.

Regardless, however, it was a conversation and/or situation that could have been handled or dealt with negatively and it wasn’t. And those are the types of situations one should put themselves into any time they get the chance. I plan to fully from this moment on.

And remember, if you can take it without lashing out or getting sad, then take it. Those are the feelings you need to feel.

Let yourself feel them.

Bipolar Disorder: Facts vs. Myths

The general stigma surrounding mental illness, and in particular bipolar disorder, has created a balloon of misinformation that has only increased people’s fear of seeking treatment. So what we are left with is convoluted beliefs regarding mental illness in general.

In turn, many myths have been created around bipolar disorder and the facts have been twisted or swept under the rug.

So let’s talk about some of the facts and myths associated with bipolar disorder, according to the National Alliance of Mental Illness.

Myth: People with bipolar disorder are just moody.

Fact: The extreme highs and lows of bipolar disorder are vastly different from mood swings.

Myth: Bipolar disorder is mostly mania.

Fact: Bipolar disorder features a wide range of disturbances, including mania, hypomania, and depression.

Myth: Mania is always fun and exciting.

Fact: When someone is manic, they may feel good and have lots of energy. However, mania can also be an unpleasant experience, marked by irritability, restlessness, impulsivity, and loss of self control.

Myth: People can stop taking their medication once their bipolar disorder is under control.

Fact: People with bipolar disorder take medications that also act preventively to help stave off future manic or depressive episodes

Myth: Bipolar disorder is super rare.

Fact: Bipolar disorder is more common than one may think. Approximately 7 million U.S. adults have experienced bipolar disorder in the past year.

Myth: The highs and lows happen in regular cycles.

Fact: Bipolar disorder can be unpredictable. Some people may feel manic and depressed at the same time and not on any certain schedule.

Myth: There is a test that can be done to diagnose someone with bipolar disorder.

Fact: There is no single test that shows for sure one might have bipolar disorder. One would have to see a doctor and a psychiatrist regularly, combined with lab work and said person’s medical history.

Myth: There’s no way to treat bipolar disorder.

Fact: Although there is no cure for bipolar disorder, it can be treated and managed with medication and psychotherapy.

Myth: Stress isn’t a factor.

Fact: Stress is one of the biggest triggers for a bipolar episode or symptoms.

If you have bipolar disorder, it’s important to know the effects of the disorder. Separate facts from fantasy regarding an illness that is already shrouded in so much myth and mystery.

Stigma, Statistics, & Suicide

The stigma surrounding mental illness can be so overwhelming that it can cause many people who are truly suffering to be too scared or ashamed to seek out help. The statistics are even scarier. I touched on quite a few in my last post, but I feel this is information that bears repeating.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 2.7% of the U.S. population suffers from bipolar disorder. Of the population that is affected by this particular disorder, 82.9% will suffer from severe impairments, more so than with any other mood disorder.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness has discovered similar facts through extensive research. Although there is no one particular cause of bipolar disorder, researchers and doctors posit that a number of factors could play a role. Those with a close relative with the disorder, especially a parent, are more likely to develop this disorder. Trauma can sometimes be a trigger for the disorder to manifest itself. The abuse of drugs and/or alcohol can also possibly be a trigger.

People with bipolar disorder have a 9.2% less life expectancy, making the average age for people with the disorder between 55-66. This is partly due to the high suicide rates of people suffering from bipolar disorder.

Approximately 19% of people with the disorder will commit suicide. This is one of those facts that bears repeating.

That in of itself should be alarming to anyone and everyone.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 10-34, according to NAMI. The suicide death of a person with bipolar disorder accounts for approximately 12% of all suicides.

There is an article written by Michael G. Pipich, entitled “Bipolar Disorder and Suicide: What 12,000 Lives Can Teach Us”. Pipich, a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist (LMFT) with a Master’s Degree, also suffers from bipolar disorder. However, he makes a great point when it comes to this specific issue.

The article focused on the need “to learn the lessons of poor bipolar care before it’s too late.” Approximately 12,000 people with bipolar disorder commit suicide every year. Again, just another shocking reality.

He also touched upon the shame and fear of treatment a person has due to the stigma around the illness. In fact, he said that may be the main cause of the enormous amount of suicides we see every year. 12,000 people out of a “group” of nearly 7 million kill themselves every year. Every year. That’s insane. And it’s insane that people who don’t have a mental illness don’t recognize the serious need for proper treatment for those that do.

I refuse to feel ashamed of who I am.

And that’s all I can say.

Up, Down, And All Around

Winston Churchill, Vincent Van Gogh, and Kurt Cobain walk into a bar…

Yeah, it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but the punchline is far from funny.

One of them led Great Britain stoically during WWII. One of them is responsible for some of the most well-known and adored pieces of art work in the world. One is a musical icon who tragically ended his life too soon. So, you may be wondering, what do these three people have in common?

All of them suffered from bipolar disorder.

And so do I.

And now a joke: My friend who suffers from bipolar disorder called from the lobby. He said, “Hey, I’m feeling great today. You want to do something?” I said, “Sure, I’ll be down in a minute.” He said, “That makes two of us.”

No, it’s not a funny joke (nor an original one), but the subject is no laughing matter either. The stigma surrounding bipolar disorder is not only sad, it’s dangerous and deadly. There are approximately 5.7 million adults in the United States suffering from the mood disorder. Of those diagnosed with the disorder, 40%-60% of people will attempt suicide at least one time. Even scarier, approximately 19%, or 1.14 million people out of approximately 5.7 million with the disorder, will commit suicide. Bipolar disorder accounts for 3%-14% of all suicides, making it quite possibly the deadliest mental illness.

So, if you’re one of the people who liked the aforementioned joke, are you still laughing now?

I’m 31 now and was first diagnosed at 15. Then again at 17. Then again at 25, which is when I finally sought out help. For 10 years I lived in a constant state of shame and embarrassment. For many reasons.

But before I get anymore ahead of myself let’s get a basic idea of what bipolar disorder is. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder characterized by extreme highs and lows, mood swings, and can affect many other areas of everyday life, as well. It is quite possible there are more people with the disorder for various reasons, whether it be from being misdiagnosed to being personally ashamed.

The stigma surrounding bipolar disorder is extreme compared to most other mental health issues. It is insidious and wreaks havoc on the person with the illness as well as those around them. Family, friends, and other loved ones often feel like they have to (and I love this phrase) “walk on eggshells” so as not to trigger or cause an episode in someone with bipolar disorder.

I hope to continue to share my story and my personal journey through this maze in my mind as I go on.

All I ask is for you to not try and understand me, and I won’t try to understand how my behavior affects those around me.

To Be Continued