Category Archives: Sleep

Smells Like Mental Health Awareness Month

“The experience I have had is that once you start talking about experiencing a mental health struggle, you realize that actually you’re part of a quite a big club.”

– Prince Harry

The guitar Kurt Cobain played/used in the video for “Smells Like Teen Spirit” just sold at auction for $4,500,000.00, about $4,000,000.00 more than expected, by Colts owner Jim Isray. That places it as the fourth most expensive piece of “known” music memorabilia ever (Kurt also takes the top spot for his guitar from the MTV Unplugged show, which sold for more than $8,000,000.00 at auction).

When I heard about this auction a month or so ago, I was kind of like “yeah, yeah, yeah, someone needs money”. The guitar had been on display somewhere for quite a while before the announcement, so I thought hey, let’s let it be.

It was expected to sell between $400,00.00 and $600,00.00. It far exceeded that goal, I’d say.

But I just recently found out that the guitar was auctioned in honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month. Not only that, but a huge portion of the money also goes to an organization ran by the Colts and the Isray family called Kicking The Stigma, which gives away grants to Indiana-based mental health programs.

Isray even spoke on the guitar’s important place.

“This guitar is big, and it relates so much to stigma,” he said. “When you have mental illness, people die. These are fatal diseases — bipolar, schizophrenia, post-partem depression, alcoholic addictions. With fatal diseases, people die, and they don’t choose to die. … Those of us who are alive, we’re not stronger or better. We didn’t get our act together more. We didn’t have more character. That’s where it’s so false.”

Whatever his motives may be, I don’t care. I appreciate the gesture, even if that’s all it is.

I don’t think Kurt Cobain would have been too ecstatic about two of his guitars selling for more than $12,000,000.00. I could understand how that would seem unreasonable or outright insane to a person. But I do think he would definitely approve of some of that exorbitant amount of money spent going to an organization called Kicking the Stigma, an organization with the goal of raising awareness about mental illness.

Happy MHAM!

Smells Like Mental Health Awareness Month

“The experience I have had is that once you start talking about experiencing a mental health struggle, you realize that actually you’re part of a quite a big club.”

– Prince Harry

The guitar Kurt Cobain played/used in the video for “Smells Like Teen Spirit” just sold at auction for $4,500,000.00, about $4,000,000.00 more than expected, by Colts owner Jim Isray. That places it as the fourth most expensive piece of “known” music memorabilia ever (Kurt also takes the top spot for his guitar from the MTV Unplugged show, which sold for more than $8,000,000.00 at auction).

When I heard about this auction a month or so ago, I was kind of like “yeah, yeah, yeah, someone needs money”. The guitar had been on display somewhere for quite a while before the announcement, so I thought hey, let’s let it be.

It was expected to sell between $400,00.00 and $600,00.00. It far exceeded that goal, I’d say.

But I just recently found out that the guitar was auctioned in honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month. Not only that, but a huge portion of the money also goes to an organization ran by the Colts and the Isray family called Kicking The Stigma, which gives away grants to Indiana-based mental health programs.

Isray even spoke on the guitar’s important place.

“This guitar is big, and it relates so much to stigma,” he said. “When you have mental illness, people die. These are fatal diseases — bipolar, schizophrenia, post-partem depression, alcoholic addictions. With fatal diseases, people die, and they don’t choose to die. … Those of us who are alive, we’re not stronger or better. We didn’t get our act together more. We didn’t have more character. That’s where it’s so false.”

Whatever his motives may be, I don’t care. I appreciate the gesture, even if that’s all it is.

I don’t think Kurt Cobain would have been too ecstatic about two of his guitars selling for more than $12,000,000.00. I could understand how that would seem unreasonable or outright insane to a person. But I do think he would definitely approve of some of that exorbitant amount of money spent going to an organization called Kicking the Stigma, an organization with the goal of raising awareness about mental illness.

Happy MHAM!

A Brief Thought on Dying

“It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time.”

– Samuel Johnson

Someone close to me recently brought forth the question of whether or not I was curious about what people will say or think about me after I die. I couldn’t help but laugh a little and try and be anecdotal, but nothing that came to mind sounded right.

When they asked me again if I had ever pondered on the issue, I had to be honest and say “no”. I’m of the inclination that this is it. It’s all black after these lights go out…so I’m still trying to plan how I’m going to sneak in a little bit when I get to the “other side”.

I guess in a way I’m so preoccupied with “what’s next” rather than who is saying what about me after I’m gone. I’m a nihilist through and through, but I still don’t have a good enough grasp on the afterlife to be comfortable going now.

Now, I’ve always known what I’ve wanted on my tombstone if that counts: “The future’s uncertain and the end is always near.” A line from “Roadhouse Blues” by The Doors. If you take away the Morrison myth it’s not a bad quote, one of ultimate summation, I think.

What do you want to be remembered for after you’ve left this earthly plane? What do you want your friends and family to say about you? Do you even care? What’s next after we die?

I’m interested to know your feelings on the topic.

My Personal Top 10 Tips for Those Who Are Mentally Ill

“To be ill adjusted to a deranged world is not a breakdown.”

– Jeanette Winterson

There are always goin

  • Accept it: It’s all you can do. It’s a process, but it’s necessary.
  • Acknowledge that you are not your illness: This is most important.
  • Don’t be afraid of the med game: Hey, if it helps…
  • Avoid “You might be…” or “Things to avoid…” lists or articles: We’re all different
  • Stay active/healthy diet: Staying healthy is key to having any control over your overall psychological well-being.
  • Practice self-care: This, especially along with a healthy diet, can help one have a basic level of control.
  • Develop a routine: This can be difficult as real life can get in the way, but can be a game-changer.
  • Stay in contact: With friends, with family, with everyone.
  • Pause for the cause: It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
  • Google doesn’t have a medical degree: Education is key when it comes to your mental illness but search with caution and insight.

Below are additional tips to boost your mental health:

  • Track gratitude and achievement with a journal. Include 3 things you were grateful for and 3 things you were able to accomplish each day.
  • Start your day with a cup of co­ffee. Coff­ee consumption is linked to lower rates of depression. If you can’t drink coff­ee because of the caff­eine, try another good-for-you drink like green tea. 
  • Set up a getaway. It could be camping with friends or a trip to the tropics. The act of planning a vacation and having something to look forward to can boost your overall happiness for up to 8 weeks!
  • 4, Work your strengths. Do something you’re good at to build self-confidence, then tackle a tougher task. 
  • Keep it cool for a good night’s sleep. The optimal temperature for sleep is between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit.
  • “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. Think of something in your life you want to improve, and figure out what you can do to take a step in the right direction.
  • Experiment with a new recipe, write a poem, paint or try a Pinterest project. Creative expression and overall well-being are linked.
  • Show some love to someone in your life. Close, quality, relationships are key for a happy, healthy life.
  • Boost brainpower by treating yourself to a couple pieces of dark chocolate every few days. The flavanoids, caffeine, and theobromine in chocolate are thought to work together to improve alertness and mental skills.
  • “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”  -Maya Angelou. If you have personal experience with mental illness or recovery, share on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr with #mentalillnessfeelslike. Check out what other people are saying here.
  • Sometimes, we don’t need to add new activities to get more pleasure. We just need to soak up the joy in the ones we’ve already got. Trying to be optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring the uglier sides of life. It just means focusing on the positive as much as possible.
  • Feeling anxious?  Take a trip down memory lane and do some coloring for about 20 minutes to help you clear your mind. Pick a design that’s geometric and a little complicated for the best effect. Check out hundreds of free printable coloring pages here.
  • Take time to laugh. Hang out with a funny friend, watch a comedy or check out cute videos online. Laughter helps reduce anxiety.
  • Go off the grid. Leave your smart phone at home for a day and disconnect from constant emails, alerts, and other interruptions. Spend time doing something fun with someone face-to-face.
  • Dance around while you do your housework. Not only will you get chores done, but dancing reduces levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), and increases endorphins (the body’s “feel-good” chemicals).
  • Go ahead and yawn. Studies suggest that yawning helps cool the brain and improves alertness and mental efficiency.
  • Relax in a warm bath once a week. Try adding Epsom salts to soothe aches and pains and help boost magnesium levels, which can be depleted by stress.
  • Has something been bothering you? Let it all out…on paper. Writing about upsetting experiences can reduce symptoms of depression.
  • Spend some time with a furry friend. Time with animals lowers the stress hormone – cortisol, and boosts oxytocin – which stimulates feelings of happiness. If you don’t have a pet, hang out with a friend who does or volunteer at a shelter.
  • “What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.” – Henry David Thoreau. Practice mindfulness by staying “in the present.”  Try these tips. 
  • Be a tourist in your own town. Often times people only explore attractions on trips, but you may be surprised what cool things are in your own backyard.
  • Try prepping your lunches or picking out your clothes for the work week. You’ll save some time in the mornings and have a sense of control about the week ahead.
  • Work some omega-3 fatty acids into your diet–they are linked to decreased rates of depression and schizophrenia among their many benefits. Fish oil supplements work, but eating your omega-3s in foods like wild salmon, flaxseeds or walnuts also helps build healthy gut bacteria.
  • Practice forgiveness – even if it’s just forgiving that person who cut you off during your commute. People who forgive have better mental health and report being more satisfied with their lives.
  • “What appear to be calamities are often the sources of fortune.” – Disraeli. Try to find the silver lining in something kind of cruddy that happened recently.
  • Feeling stressed? Smile. It may not be the easiest thing to do, but smiling can help to lower your heart rate and calm you down.
  • Send a thank you note – not for a material item, but to let someone know why you appreciate them. Written expressions of gratitude are linked to increased happiness.
  • Do something with friends and family – have a cookout, go to a park, or play a game. People are 12 times more likely to feel happy on days that they spend 6-7 hours with friends and family.
  • Take 30 minutes to go for a walk in nature – it could be a stroll through a park, or a hike in the woods. Research shows that being in nature can increase energy levels, reduce depression and boost well-being.
  • Do your best to enjoy 15 minutes of sunshine, and apply sunscreen. Sunlight synthesizes Vitamin D, which experts believe is a mood elevator.
  • “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein. Try something outside of your comfort zone to make room for adventure and excitement in your life.

There are many different skills or coping mechanisms that you can do or use in times of mental duress. It all just depends on the situation and what is needed at the time to diffuse the mental health crisis or concern. We all have it in us and although bullet points suck, there is a truth there that can only be helpful.

I hope my list, along with the list provided by the MHA, is helpful to someone in some way.

Mental Illness: An Excuse for Bad Behavior?

“Mental illness does not give you the excuse to act like a jackass.”

– Pete Davidson

The above quote quite sums up the entirety of what this short post will be.

It’s not unheard of. Someone with a mental illness, consciously or not, may believe they’re allowed a free pass at times. This, of course, is false. In no set of circumstances does mental illness allow one to act like a dick.

It’s a total myth that having a mental illness is an excuse for poor or bad behavior. Not that that is out of the realm of possibility, but one cannot stand behind the guise of mental illness to do whatever one wants. Yet, in certain times, we need to remember that the illness is not the person, and those isolating behaviors are part of their condition.

One study found that one-third of people think people with mental illness are ‘making excuses’.

According to an article in The Bridge Chronicle, people use mental illness as “an excuse for irrational behavior…mental illness doesn’t evaporate the consequences of our actions.”

“Mental health does not make problematic behaviors excusable.”

A clear example of this is Kanye West and his continued deterioration in the media. He is allegedly bipolar (I am not sure if there has ever been a clinical diagnosis or not), but up until recently, we have always given Kanye a “pass” when he’s been offensive or completely “off his rocker” (pardon my discriminatory description – Kanye has earned it, though). His “genius” overshadowed any medical or mental health concerns that he was experiencing, and he continued down a destructive, untreated path.

I understand, to some degree, why people may play the “mental illness” card, though. It is sometimes the only way we can get any true recognition of our condition. It’s inexcusable to be manipulative when it comes to “owning” one’s illness, but sometimes it is the only way to express that part of our lives. One can use tact, though, and in a way that’s not so extreme.

There are different ways to go about “expressing” yourself. Taking responsibility for one’s actions and/or reactions is a good place to start. You may end up revealing something about yourself that you don’t want to but taking responsibility for certain behaviors is a good step in the right direction.

Having that kind of accountability can go a long way when having a mental illness. You have to acknowledge the situation before being able to handle it.

Symptoms of an undiagnosed mental illness include:


· Thoughts of harming someone or yourself

· Emotions of sorrow, frustration, fear, concern, or anxiety are recurrent or persistent.

· Regular outbursts of feelings or mood changes

· Uncertainty or mysterious memory lapses

· Delusions or hallucinations

· Intensive fear or anxiety about putting on weight

· Important shifts in eating or sleeping behaviors

· Unknown improvements in success at school or work

· Failure to deal with regular tasks or problems

· Cessation from events or relations in society

· Authority disobedience, delinquency, robbery, or destruction

· Misuse of substances, including alcoholism or illicit drug use

· Mysterious bodily conditions

There have been times when I’ve “gone off” because I’ve slipped, and lashing out seemed to be the most logical response. Hands up-don’t shoot! I, too, have been guilty of this.

If you find yourself lashing out at others, here are a few things you can do:

· If you have a lot of built up anger, speak to someone. A family member, a friend, or your doctor to talk about the things going on in your head.

· Alternatively, if you’re feeling angry, unleash your feelings by calling Samaritans on 116 123, they are there to listen to you.

· If you find yourself irritated or angry, question what’s going on. Is everyone else being irritating, or do you need extra support for your emotions?

· Before making hurtful comments, take a step back and think about the consequences.

· If you are unable to stop a reaction, take some time out afterward and apologize to the person you hurt.

· Listen when friends and loved ones tell you they’re hurting. Don’t dismiss their feelings or deflect them by blaming your mental illness.

Some people struggle with their moods and behaviors. It can be debilitating for everyone involved. This, however, does not give anyone the right to abuse their condition. Being mentally ill does not excuse bad or inappropriate behavior.

Mental Health in Small Town, USA

“There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.”

– Matt Haig

Just some brief thoughts:

I live in a small town. Like a really small town. It’s a very conservative, small town in a very conservative part of Illinois, which is most of the state (thank God for Chicago or we would be all Red). There aren’t a lot of resources in my area for people with any type of mental health or psychiatric problems. That seems to be the case for many rural areas across the U.S.

This isn’t news. A 2020 study found that “rural residents in the USA experience significant disparities in mental health outcomes even though the prevalence of mental illness in rural and metropolitan areas is similar.”

These issues may stem from a lack of funding or a lack of understanding of these types of problems. I haven’t even heard of any recognition that May is Mental Health Awareness Month on any type in any local media in my area – not that that is surprising. I have found most people have no idea this is Mental Health Awareness Month.

That’s part of the problem. No, not recognizing May as “ours”, but by not recognizing the issue at all. I had an appointment with my psych doctor yesterday, who practices more than an hour away now. Thank God (or whoever) for Telehealth or that monthly drive would be a killer.

A study by researchers at Wake Forest School of Medicine determined one of the main causes behind the lack of resources for mental health treatment in rural areas is the surrounding shame and stigma. The belief that “I should not need help.”

“We as a society have a hard time asking for help, so it’s hard enough to ask for help [without feeling] that everybody’s going to know it,” Dennis Mohatt, vice president of the behavioral mental health program at the Western Interstate Commission for Higher Education, said. “Your neighbors don’t have a clue in a city if you’re going to go get some help. But everybody [in a small town] will know if your pickup truck is parked outside of the mental health provider’s office.”

He’s right. Fortunately, I do not fall into that category. I’m not out picketing for change or acknowledgment, but I’m far from ashamed.

Other research suggests even suicide rates are affected by the regionality of mental health services.

“There is a higher suicide mortality rate among residents of rural and nonmetropolitan areas than those living in metropolitan areas,” Ty Borders, Ph.D., said. “The discrepancy has existed for decades, and the gap has widened in recent years,”

So, why is this? I’m sure there is more than one answer, but where I live it has a lot to do with what I hope is a lack of understanding (I have to believe that, at least). Funding, too, if that can be looped into it on some real substantive basis. However, I believe it stems from a lack of understanding.

It’s also because of a weakness that gets pinned on those who suffer from any type of mental health problem or crisis. There is very much a “Suck it up and get over it!” mentality among many throughout my community. The idea that mental illness didn’t exist fifty years ago is a very prevalent one.

Poverty plays a role in this dilemma, too. How can someone expect to pay for mental health services when they can’t afford their 10-year-old’s school physical? Especially if those types of appointments are an hour away and are only open certain hours or days of the week.

According to the Rural Health Information Hub, “18.7% of individuals in nonmetropolitan areas have a mental health condition, which is about 6.5 million people. Rural residents are also more likely than urban residents to experience a serious mental illness.”

One report suggests that for every 30,000 rural Americans there is one psychiatrist. This is interesting, and it would be interesting to know how many out of those 30,000 need psychiatric help. But we’ll never get any accurate information regarding that.

So, do we need more therapists? Or is it something more serious, a more systemic issue? I don’t think there is a black or white answer. I mean, I have no real ideas that would matter. I’m just like everyone else: pointing out the flaws in the system with no real alternative measure in mind.

My Week-Long Hiatus

“Stress acts as an accelerator: it will push you either forward or backward, but you choose which direction.”

– Chelsea Eriaue

It has been one of “those weeks” to be sure. No, nothing genuinely terrible has occurred. It’s just been one of “those weeks” in the sense that when that phrase is used, all can be sure what is truly meant.

For me, the main thing was a classic case of “biting off more than I could chew”, an ailment that I’m too often afflicted with. I spent several days writing several freelance pieces that I had put off until the last minute, ultimately resulting in an intense, unnecessary level of stress that I’m surprised didn’t end up with me losing my hair.

I work best under pressure, I feel, but this was a little too heavy of a workload on top of everything going on. To purposefully put myself in that type of predicament, on top of kids and real life

Anyway, after finally completing my deadly deadline, I spent two days push mowing three acres of land. What started as a pet project quickly turned into a work overload. The yard had to be mowed, though, and I won’t let anyone else do it. It’s just how I was raised.

There’s not much to this post except to let everyone know I plan to stick to the main schedule I initially intended. When I missed Sunday and Monday, I didn’t want to change days just because of “personal strife”. It’s Thursday now, and I’m providing nothing of substantial value except that. I intend to do better by prioritizing and learning from my most recent lesson.

Whoever said “work smarter, not harder” sure knew what the hell they were talking about.

Sleep, or the Lack Thereof

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”

– Ernest Hemingway

Sleep is perhaps one of the most important fundamentals in a person’s life. The Sleep Foundation describes sleep as an “essential function”, one that allows “your body and mind to recharge, leaving you refreshed and alert when you wake up.”

It’s extremely important that most adults get seven to nine hours of sleep a night. A lack of sleep is linked to a higher risk for obesity, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, early death, and poor mental health.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, there are a variety of reasons you may not be getting the sleep you need, including:

  • Stress or worry
  • A change in the noise level or temperature of your bedroom
  • A different routine
  • Too much caffeine or alcohol
  • Shift work
  • Physical or mental health problems
  • Side effects of certain medications

There are several types of sleep disorders, but the most prevalent is insomnia. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, insomnia is defined as the “difficulty either falling or staying asleep that is accompanied by daytime impairments related to those sleep troubles.” Research from the Mayo Clinic suggests 30% of all adults will experience short-term insomnia and 10% of adults will experience long-term insomnia.

Insomnia symptoms may include:

  • Difficulty falling asleep at night
  • Waking up during falling asleep at night’s sleep
  • Waking up too early
  • Not feeling well-rested after a night’s sleep
  • Daytime tiredness or sleepiness
  • Irritability, depression or anxiety
  • Difficulty paying attention, focusing on tasks or remembering
  • Increased errors or accidents
  • Ongoing worries about sleep

Insomnia is not uncommon. In fact, it’s the most common sleep disorder, and one that can be very dangerous.

That’s never stopped me, though. Of course, I shouldn’t be proud of that, and I’m not. But I do suffer from serious insomnia.

I suffer from chronic insomnia (which recently has come in handy with the birth of my youngest son). Being bipolar doesn’t help the matter any. When manic, I’ve stayed up for days without “needing” to rest. That’s not an everyday occurrence, thankfully, but it’s happened enough for me to be used to it.

To the lucky 75% of those who recover from their insomnia, I applaud you and wonder, “what’s your secret?”

I’ve been on all the meds: Ambien. Sonata. Belsomra. Trazadone. Restoril. Lunesta. I’ve stuck with Lunesta because it works some of the time. It’s hit or miss, which at this point is all I can hope for.

Insomnia is usually caused by bad sleep habits, depression, anxiety, and chronic illness. It can even be caused by certain medications.

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are ways to fight insomnia, including:

  • Stick to a schedule: Keep your bedtime and wake time consistent from day to day, including on weekends.
  • Stay active: Regular activity helps promote a good night’s sleep. Schedule exercise at least a few hours before bedtime and avoid stimulating activities before bedtime.
  • Check your medications: If you take medications regularly, check with your doctor to see if they may be contributing to your insomnia. Also check the labels of OTC products to see if they contain caffeine or other stimulants, such as pseudoephedrine.
  • Avoid or limit naps: Naps can make it harder to fall asleep at night. If you can’t get by without one, try to limit a nap to no more than 30 minutes and don’t nap after 3 p.m.
  • Avoid or limit caffeine and alcohol/Don’t use nicotine: All of these can make it harder to sleep, and effects can last for several hours.
  • Don’t put up with pain: If a painful condition bothers you, talk to your doctor about options for pain relievers that are effective enough to control pain while you’re sleeping.
  • Avoid large meals and beverages before bed: A light snack is fine and may help avoid heartburn. Drink less liquid before bedtime so that you won’t have to urinate as often.

Suffering from a mental illness can make falling asleep no easy task. It is usually easier said than done for me since other factors play a role. I’ve always had trouble sleeping. I struggle with falling asleep, not staying asleep. If I can get there, I’m there. It’s the getting to sleep that so often eludes me.

No matter, insomnia and other sleep disorders can be extremely damaging, especially to those with a mental health disorder. Mental health disorders tend to make it harder to sleep well, in general.

Disorders Affected by Lack of Sleep:

  • Depression
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder
  • Anxiety Disorders
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Schizophrenia
  • ADHD
  • Autism Spectrum Disorder

There is research to suggest that “brain activity during sleep has profound effects on emotional and mental health.” A 2021 study also suggests that issues with insomnia are “associated with significantly increased odds of frequent mental distress.”

Overall, sleep helps maintain cognitive abilities, including learning, memory, and emotional regulation. This is especially important to note to those who suffer from any kind of mental illness or psychiatric condition.

So, I guess that poet was wrong: Sleep isn’t just for dreamers.